Kali

Two weeks ago I lost my best friend. My sweet Kali was diagnosed with osteosarcoma 3 months ago, and it had gotten to the point where she was in too much pain, even on heavy pain medication. We were forced to make the very difficult decision to euthanize her. She went surrounded by those who love her, stroking her curly black fur and whispering I love you. She went wagging her tail and smiling with her warm brown eyes. As hard as it was, as hard as it is now, it was right that she went the way she has always been - joyful, loving, and full of puppy-like energy, even in her old age. In the weeks leading up to our decision, her limp became more pronounced, her pain more obvious, and her appetite decreased. It was time to say goodbye. Every night for our last few days together, she jumped up into my bed, as hard and painful as that was for her, choosing to spend the rest of her time as close as possible to her family. Although we will never know, I think she was ready, even though I was not. Kali has been my best friend for a decade - from the moment I first met her, and she licked my fingers through her carrier and I slipped her a treat, to our last moments together as she licked the tears from my face. She was my sister, always there for me, always full of love and life. I miss her so much. I miss her warm brown eyes, her curly black fur, and her goofy smile. I miss having her cuddled up in my bed. I miss talking to her and going for walks. I miss having her greet us at the door, and a million other things. I still expect to see her when I walk in the door, or find her sleeping on her bed, or on the back deck. But the worst is when I wake up some mornings and forget for just a second, and reach down to pet  her at the foot of my bed, and then she's not there. I know that I will always miss my sweet Kali, but I also know that the time will come when I can remember her with a smile instead of tears.

Just yesterday, this little girl came into our life: Mika (pronounced Mee-kah), a 7-week-old deaf Great Dane puppy. I was not ready for another dog. I miss Kali every day, and I felt that getting another dog would be a betrayal or a "replacement," and I didn't feel that I would be able to give a puppy the love it needed yet. However, I also knew that it might help in some ways - as long as she was my brothers' puppy, I had limited involvement, and she certainly didn't sleep in my bed. But last night she was too scared to sleep in her crate, so she spent the night in my bed, cuddled up in my arms, making her little piglet sounds. I have fallen in love with this sweet little cuddlebug, and I've realized that that's okay. Kali has taught me so much about love over the years. She always gave her sweet love so unconditionally, and her death taught me that the deeper you love, the deeper the pain, but I would never give up the beautiful relationship we had in order to not feel the pain I do now. Love cannot be destroyed, and Kali gave me so much love over the years. It would be wrong to keep all that love locked up inside because little Mika needs it. I think that Kali would want me to share her love, and doing so is not betraying her, but celebrating the beauty of her gift to me. I love Kali and miss her so much, but I can love Mika too, and how could anyone not love this little cutie?

“Sorrow is how we learn to love. Your heart isn’t breaking. It hurts because it’s getting larger. 

The larger it gets, the more love it holds.” 

Rita Mae Brown

Yellowstone

My mom and I got up early to catch the sunrise outside our hotel

Our first sighting of wildlife in its natural habitat

An adorable little bison calf crossing the river

The Yellowstone River at the Lower Falls

Hot springs 

And a view from above

The Yellowstone River

Wildflowers

More hot springs - I loved this color!

And, of course, I had to include a pic of Old Faithful

Lewis Lake

Driving through the stunning Grand Tetons on the way out 

The last day of summer vacation! The summer went by so quickly, but I'm very excited for school so that isn't such a bad thing right now. We got back from our 2+ week road trip a week ago. We had a great time on our trip, and we really enjoyed my uncle's wedding and had so much fun visiting family along the way. I just wanted to share a few - okay, that's a lie, a whole lot of - pictures from Yellowstone because it was so gorgeous! Unfortunately, we were only able to spend one day there at the end of our trip, but that one day was amazing.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful summer!!!

"And if we dare to look into those eyes, then we shall feel their suffering in our hearts. More and more people have seen that appeal and felt it in their hearts. All around the world there is an awakening of understanding and compassion, understanding that reaches out to help the suffering animals in their vanishing homelands. That embraces hungry, sick, and desperate human beings, people who are starving while the fortunate among us have so much more than we need. And if, one by one, we help them, the hurting animals, the desperate humans, then together we shall alleviate so much of the hunger, fear, and pain in the world. Together we can bring change to the world, gradually replacing fear and hatred with compassion and love. Love for all living beings."

- Jane Goodall

Wandering

My mom, uncle, brothers, and I took a hike in Fall Creek today. We wandered and explored, and thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful weather, the peaceful forest, and each other's company.

"Not all those who wander are lost."

- J.R.R. Tolkien

Life

Life is a crazy and beautiful thing. It seems absolutely insane right now, but I've had a lot of moments recently (including 4 straight days of moments) that have reminded me that it is also so, so beautiful. I remember when, looking ahead, something could seem like forever - an intangible future that I didn't have to think about for years and years. Well, it's here now, and looking back everything has become an instant. I was faced with choices, and the choice I made means change and goodbyes. I was scared that opening this new door would forever close the one behind me. However, dear, dear friends have reminded me that this will be a new chapter, not a new book, and the previous chapters will always be with me, always a part of me, and I can return to them, even if it won't be exactly the same. They reminded me that as I go forward it will be with their love and support. I am scared, but I am excited, I am sad, but I am hopeful, and I am always, always grateful to know such amazing people and to be a part of their lives. 
These words ring very true right now...

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. 

We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand--and melting like a snowflake...”

- Francis Bacon

Wildness

Chocolate-covered Raspberry Coconut Treats

I made these little treats as Valentine's gifts for my family. I like how they turned out, so I thought I'd share some pics and the recipe. Enjoy, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Ingredients (makes about a dozen)

• 1 cup shredded coconut
• 1 Tbsp. honey
• 1/4 cup raspberries, mashed
• 1 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted
• chocolate (I used 2 oz. unsweetened baking chocolate + 1/2 cup of bittersweet chocolate chips)
• sea salt (optional)

Mix all ingredients except for the chocolate and form into balls. Freeze the coconut balls until the chocolate is ready to help them set. Melt the chocolate, and dip the balls in it, rolling them around until coated. Place the chocolate-covered balls on a baking sheet covered in parchment paper. While the chocolate is still soft, sprinkle with pink sea salt if desired. Put the treats in the fridge or freezer until the chocolate is set, and then keep refrigerated until you are ready to eat them. Enjoy :)

----These are grain-free, dairy-free, processed sugar-free, and primal/paleo friendly---

Courage

"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; 

it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."

- Alice Mackenzie Swaim

Mushrooms

We took a hike in Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park yesterday with some friends and found amazing mushrooms everywhere! I love how interesting and unique they all are. I don't know what types they are, so if you know please comment :)

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”
- John Muir